It just came to me on the subway this morning. Imagine:

Call me Ishmael. [as read by Benicio del Toro]

OR

Aujourd'hui, maman est morte. [as read by Michel Gondry]

"Sorry, I have to take this," you'll say. "It's my mom."

Call me, John Sargent. Let's talk. Oh, wait ...

Elmer Gantry was drunk. [as read by Billy Bob Thornton]

... there he is now. Gotta go. Time to print the money.

(I joke, but someone will try this. If they haven't already.)